So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize