i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
