I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
