it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
