Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
