Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
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