O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
