do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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