You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
