Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
