So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
so much tequila, so little girl.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
