i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
