So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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