I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm sobbing to NWA
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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