FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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