so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
