if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize