Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
