she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
