Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
