glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
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