Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize