grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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