two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
