i would punch a child for taco bell
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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