Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Say something about gay babies.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
