don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
