If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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