We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I need moral support for this bender
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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