I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize