i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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