do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
