I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
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