He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
