I will die if light touches me.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
