I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
