She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
it was like eating out sand paper
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
