fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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