we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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