Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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