we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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