I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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