She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
