It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
