so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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