Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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