I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize