idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I looked at my own cervix.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
