I only kidnapped one of them. chill
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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