Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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