Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I didn't notice because vodka
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
