Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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