you guys were way drunker than both of me
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
