We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize