so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You may now shotgun with the bride
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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