One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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