no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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