i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You should frame my arrest warrant.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize