god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
