What a fucking waste of an outfit
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
