True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
