The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
