the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
