On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
