we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
