mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
