hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Is it because I queefed?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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