ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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