Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
